“What’s the best way to heal my marriage?” It’s a valid question for anyone who is staring straight at the possibility of divorce. No one marries with the intention of eventually getting a divorce. If you’re like most couples, things were going great until slowly there was increased tension between you and your spouse. Maybe you didn’t even notice it at first, but over time it became glaringly obvious that your marriage wasn’t what it used to be. If you’re not feeling any adoration for your spouse at this point, divorce seems like a good option. It certainly is for some couples, but not all. Just because you and your partner have reached a huge bump in the road of your relationship that doesn’t mean that you have to go your separate ways. Healing your marriage is more than possible if you have the right attitude, insight and understanding to make it happen.
The best way to heal your marriage really depends on how you two have interacted as a couple up to this point. For some couples, therapy is the light at the end of their turbulent tunnel. They can’t communicate in any effective way without things turning verbally abusive. It’s difficult enough to try and get your point across to your spouse if you two aren’t getting along, but when they become angry and their words take on a mean spirited tone, it’s just not worth it for the two of you to keep talking. In this instance, it’s going to be near impossible for the two of you to work out anything on your own. If left to your own devices you and your spouse will surely drive your marriage into the ground just out of the anger and resentment you both feel. Research therapists in your local area, talk to friends or your medical professional and find someone who will help you. It can really be the one step that saves your marriage.
If you two are able to still communicate in a clear and respectful way you can attempt to try and put the pieces of your marriage back together by yourselves. There are some ways to make the process less painful and those all have to do with respecting certain boundaries and listening to your partner. To begin with choose specific times to discuss your marriage. You need to make time to do this and you both should be in agreement that it’s during those moments that your focus is on overcoming the issues you are facing. If you don’t have designated times for this, your marriage troubles will soon overtake your lives and will impact each and every conversation you have. That’s not helpful particularly if you are trying to shield your small children from the conflict. By setting time aside you’ll also be able to prepare for the conversations so you’ll know what you want to express and you’ll feel emotionally ready.
You both also must be in firm agreement that you won’t throw any verbal punches at one another. That means no personal insults should ever be a part of your conversations. When a couple is trying to heal their marriage they must let go of all the resentment that has tarnished their relationship to this point. Look at your spouse as your partner towards a happier future. Consider how your words may sting them before you hurl them their way. It takes just a moment to cause irreparable damage with unkind words. The power of positive gestures and discussion can immediately impact your marriage in a good way. Never lose sight of that.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
You can save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.