Your husband has a very full life. Most men do. He likely juggles a full-time career, his responsibilities as a father and his commitment to you. You do the same in your life but you feel that you’ve always made your husband a priority, even though he hasn’t done the same for you. You’re frustrated, disappointed and perhaps even a bit confused. You never imagined your life would end up in this place, did you? You feel unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved. Obviously, this situation has to change. You’re not going to accomplish that by making subtle comments about how your best friend’s husband loves and adores her. It’s also not going to make any difference if you nag your husband in an effort to get him to move you to the top of his priority list. You have to address this issue in a way that makes your husband come to his own realization that you’re the most important person in his life. Understanding the direction you need to take to accomplish that begins with gaining more insight into why he’s acting the way he is.
On the day you and your husband married you promised many things to one another both verbally and silently. To most women one of the major, silent vows is to always put one another at the top of life’s priority list. We, as women, almost always do that with our spouses. We may falter a bit when we become mothers primarily because our parental nature kicks in and we focus all of our attention on our little ones. However, with men it tends to be a bit different story. Men sometimes allow their work or their friends to take top billing. If you’re a wife who is beginning to notice that shift in her husband’s life, it’s ultimately going to hurt.
Shifting your husband’s attitude so that you become the focal point of his life isn’t nearly as hard as you may believe that it is. You’ve likely already tried speaking to him about the problem. In most cases when a husband is confronted with a wife who says that she feels neglected, he’ll take a defensive stance and go on the attack. He may say things about how he works so hard for her or how he can’t ever do anything that makes her happy. This is to be expected and any woman who has had this conversation with her husband more than once, knows that it’s a normal reaction so she doesn’t take it personally.
You absolutely must take a more subtle approach. Your husband reacts better to action than words. Most men do. They will make a change in themselves if they feel something internally as opposed to being told something. That’s why it can be incredibly helpful if you temporarily stop paying your husband as much attention as you have been. You shouldn’t take the stance of pushing him to the back of your priority list, but instead view it as moving other things ahead of him for a time and for a very defined purpose.
The simpler and less meaningful things are the best. That’s to say that if your husband is expecting you to have dinner cooked when he comes home from the office, he should be greeted with a frozen dinner and a note saying you had a yearning to go see a movie with a girlfriend. Another great way to get your point across is to stop doing as much around the house. If you neglect your husband’s laundry because you’re so busy shopping online for a new handbag, he’s going to feel the pinch of your neglect.
This may be viewed by many women as game playing with their spouse but sometimes the way to a man’s heart is through sports. It’s doubtful that your husband has made a conscious effort to push you off his priority list. It’s more likely that he’s mindlessly allowed other things to take precedence. By showing him how that feels, you’ll be pushing him into seeing that there’s a better and more respectful way to be a loving and attentive partner.
If your husband won’t make you a priority it can lead to serious marriage problems.
Learn what you can do now to save your relationship and make your husband value and appreciate you all over again.