When we marry we expect that our spouse will always be the person we’ll feel a special connection with. We envision that they’ll be our closest confidante as well as the one soul in the world we always feel safest with. That’s what marriage is about but what happens if those feelings begin to shift and you start to feel an emotional distance developing between you and the man you married? It’s something that many married women are forced to face at some point. As much as they don’t want to even consider the idea of divorce, it’s right there rearing its ugly head in the distance. There are bound to be moments when it feels as though the emotional divide that is now there between you and your husband is unconquerable. It may not be after all. A great deal depends on you and what you truly want for your future.
If your husband and you are now growing apart, you can still save the marriage if you’re determined and if you use the right tools to make it happen. You already know that asking your spouse what’s wrong too often can elicit a rather strong, negative response in him. If a man doesn’t feel like talking about what’s bothering him, he’ll shut down. If his wife pushes him over and over to open up, he’ll lash out in an effort to make her stop. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of that response because it will only create more tension between the two of you.
Often, within a marriage, the couple neglects each other not out of spite or intent, but more as a result of stressful circumstances. The economy certainly isn’t what it used to be. Many couples struggle to make ends meet and as a result, they focus more on trying to stay financially afloat, than they do the marriage. The connection between them, inevitably suffers and they end up feeling more like distant roommates than they do lovers and co-parents.
The same is true within a marriage where the husband has to juggle a stressful career with his responsibilities as a parent. Try as he might to get everything done at work each day, he carries the stress of what awaits him tomorrow, into the home. He sits and stews over it in silent thought and his wife absorbs that as him being disconnected from her. He is, in a sense, because often just talking about what is bothering him can help a man tremendously.
What’s the best way to deal with a marriage in which you feel your husband is growing apart from you? The answer isn’t necessarily all that simplistic. It’s multi-layered and it’s going to take energy and commitment on your part, but it can be done.
Begin with trying to open up a dialogue with your husband about what he’s currently feeling. You must approach this conversation from a place of compassion and not confrontation. Even if you feel that your husband has been purposefully emotionally neglecting you, give the man the benefit of the doubt for now. Ask him if there’s anything he’d like to talk about and explain that you’ve been doing some self reflection and you recognize that you haven’t always been the wife you’ve wanted to be. If you take some of the onus for the marriage troubles, onto yourself, your husband will feel less cornered and will be more likely to talk with you.
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a struggle within your marriage is to correct the problem before the discussion happens. You can do this if you feel confident that you understand what is causing the distance between you two. A good example of this scenario is if you two have been facing a conflict over an issue and haven’t found a way to resolve it. Perhaps it is a financial disagreement or maybe you’re at odds over something to do with one of the children.
An argument that never has an ending can literally undermine a marriage to the point where divorce feels and seems like the only logical step to be taking. Resentment uses these types of disagreement as a breeding ground and once that sets in, it can be hard to find your way back to one another. Although you may not feel it’s in your best interest to compromise on your position, think about what is at stake and the gravity of the future. Giving in now may save your marriage, so take some time and think about whether that’s a move that you need to be making right now.
There are steps you can take now to save your marriage even without your husband’s help. Click here to learn what you need to do now to secure your future with the man you adore.